2010: The Year of the Me Monster

It's amazing that moving 700 miles away from everything familiar and comfortable makes you reevaluate everything, things that you thought were just fundamentally who you were.

Exhibit A. NEVER have I been active, never. I was the kid in high school that would barely run the mile in time to not fail in PE CLASS. I had accepted the fact that I’m just not an active person, and now I'm training to run a 1/2 marathon. I didn’t start running because I was bored, trying to lose weight, or trying to begin my career as a marathon runner. I realized that I often played it safe, and didn't try for things that might lead to failure. I really wanted something that was going to be a challenge every day, and something that I push myself to do. As seen by my pep talks that I give myself during my 7:30 am Saturday runs, this is doing just that. Funny thing is that I feel better than I have in a long time. This challenge/accomplishment thing has really shifted my perspective of what I'm capable of doing. It's an exciting feeling.

Exhibit B. I've been giving thought to this whole "nice guys (girls) finish last." I really think there is truth to the theory. Not because the rest of the world is mean and like to beat up on nice people, but because nice people give up too much control in exchange for a relationship. This often leads to the “nice girl/guy” to be taken for granted. Allow me to explain.

Feel free to disagree here, but I'd say that in friendship and relationships that I tend to be a "nice girl." (Though both of you have seen my temper at times). Anyway, I think that I place such high value on relationships, people, and what they add to my life that I'm willing to sacrifice things that I need in a relationship just to keep the other person in my life. Now, this sounds kind of pathetic, and it's not supposed to. I allow others to negotiate the terms of our relationship while withholding some of my needs or preferences to keep the peace. What? You want to hang out with some other person for 3 months, and then come back to be BFF with me? Sure, we'll forget that whole 3 months of crappy friendship ever happened. So my thoughts are that nice guys/girls can still be the nice person, invest all they want into relationships and love people all they want, but they have to take charge and make sure that they are helping to negotiate the terms and rules of relationships. In the end, I think it will make the other parties respect and appreciate them even more.

Anyway! New life, new leaf! I've decided to start making a conscious effort to take charge of my life and my relationships. I'm nervous just thinking about it.

So there you go, those are my 2010 changes thus far...and I hope you've enjoyed the ramblings that normally stay in my head.