A few of my favorite things.

Thanks to friends, I have realized that I’m pretty crazy. Not that I’ve tricked myself into thinking I’m normal-- I'm pretty awkward. Let’s talk about it and I'll keep it short. Try to stay friends with me.

1. I like ghost stories.
They freak me out... so much so that my eyes water. I reluctantly told this to my brother and he said it happens to him too, but not as severe. When I listen to stories about ghosts or supernatural occurrences, my eyes water so much that I wipe away tears. It's an involuntary reaction -- weird reaction in my mouth, my jaw tightens, I shake my head and then my eyes start watering. Like that reaction in your mouth after you gag and your mouth starts watering... before you throw up. A slight version of that. But then tears. Oh you don't experience that and you don't know what gagging sensation I’m talking about? Well that brings us to our next subject.

2. I throw up a lot.
Not because I want to…I have a very strong gag reflex. I can't swallow pills without gagging and then throwing up. It infuriates my mom and other people who tell me just to get over and be a real adult. Trying! Trying to be a real person. But I tend to waste a lot of medication every time I try. So I’ve stopped trying. Things that make me throw up: pills, laughing too much, getting hot, awful smells, other people throw up, waking up too early, spicy food, carbonated drinks, and nervous times. Whatever the occasion, I have no problem throwing up. I’m used to it... it rarely affects my day and I recover very quickly. It’s not a big deal.

3. Not everyone's face hurts when they get tired.
I just realized this in Chicago. When I get tired, my face feels tired and achy, behind my eyes and in my ears and jaw. The feeling doesn't go away until I can put some pressure on my face, on a pillow or the nearest couch... or the nearest seat belt, if in a car. Wow, this sounds crazy now, but I just figured everyone's face got tired. Also, being out in the sun makes me tired... like it drains me faster than others. And it makes me sneeze. This is making my face hurt.

4. I am haunted by the number 23.
It started in high school or early college. Every time I went to bed, I would look up at my clock and it was 23 minutes after the hour. It progressed into seeing a few 23 minutes after the hour when I would check the time. No big deal. Kind of didn't let it bother me for a few years, but it has returned lately. I would say at least 85% of the time I look at the clock during the day, it's 23 after. Not a few minutes before or 24... 23. Work, car, home... 23 after. But it's not just the time, it’s seeing the number other places, counting things, dates. (And no, this is not because of that movie 23 and his fear of the number... this was long before that.) Most common: 11:23, 7:23 and 4:23. I was pretty convinced that I would die at the age of 23. Well, that has half to do with me thinking I would die young.

5. I’ve always thought I would die young.
I used to daydream about my funeral or wake, Tom Sawyer-style. I guess I thought it would make things a little more interesting if I died young. I don't know why, but I don't shy away from death, the dying process, hospitals, cemeteries and my own demise. I have had a lot of dreams about dying and it just weirded me out. It’s just always been hard for me to imagine my adult life or my future or whatever. Maybe I just don't ever want to get old. Not because I’m vain or afraid of wrinkles…old people make me sad. I can't watch Wheel of Fortune or the Price is Right with old people on it. I don't want to be pitied like I pity old people. I don't want to be dependent on others. I don't want to be embarrassed about my frailty.

6. As much as I don't worry about death, I worry about heaven.
It weirds me out. I should have peace about it and know that it will be a place of comfort, but it terrifies me. When I think about eternity and spending it in heaven, the image that comes to mind is a continuous line that spirals down into a tornado until it fades out of sight. It makes me dizzy and my heart starts racing. I feel panicky and I have to stop thinking about it. It makes me feel claustrophobic. Am I the only one that is scared by spending an eternity somewhere? Am I afraid of the commitment? Am I completely selfish and ridiculous? Maybe I don’t understand heaven, but what the crap am I going to do forever? Stare at glowy face Jesus? Float around as a spirit on the new earthly kingdom. Just hope we aren't like ghosts or else I’ll spend my eternity with watering eyes. Oh geez. I hope dinosaurs are involved in this new heaven.

7. Oh I’ve never mentioned my love for dinosaurs? I LOVE dinosaurs!
I love everything about them... tiny T-Rex arms, the mystery of their existence, the possibility of them being cool colors. Did they live with humans did? What happened to them? Were they kinder than we think of them now? Will God tell us what happened to them when we get to heaven? Will I ever know what it would be like to coexist with them? Can I pet one? I have a feeling that they aren't super gentle, so I’m glad we don't live with them, but I’d just like to be informed about what had happened.


Please tell me that you can relate to at least one of these. No? Ok well…