Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

So I started my new job yesterday. It feels like a fresh start, but my employment was just resurrected at the same old place. So it will be an interesting transition. My new job title is Fulfillment & Inventory Specialist. It's a fancy way of saying that I'll be doing a lot of counting. Don't be jealous. As a part of my job, I will be working in the warehouse and managing inventory. This requires me to be trained on the forklift! So today I took my online training course and exam. I found it to be very humorous. This was a warning illustration of possible death by forklift.

I'm pretty sure that's a coffin. But the description was more about falling off the edge of the platform. But I guess having a coffin by your forklift just cuts out the middleman. Also, I have to learn a physics equation, the Inch Pound Forklift Equation. Watch out math geniuses... here I come!

Step 1:
You must first determine the maximum Inch Pound capacity of the truck. To do this, you must use the equation (A + B) x C = Inch Pound, where A = 18", B = 24", and C = 5000 lbs.
(18" + 24" ) x 5000 lbs. = Inch Pounds
(42") x 5000 lbs. = Inch Pounds
210,000 Inch PoundsWhat? My brain exploded because I haven't done math in a really long time. Well, other than to calculate the interest I could've gotten on the money Melissa owes me from 2006. (J/K MJ)
So I am off to go learn more things. I hope you all have just as much fun as me today. Coco crispies!

Bright Sides of a Suckfest

So this week has been filled with every type of frustration - personal, professional, and logistical. I've had those mornings where you realize you're already late and then knock over the basket of clean laundry that you just folded....or kicked an ant bed while walking across campus getting dirt AND angry ants all in your dress shoes. All-in-all....fabulous.

But there are some bright spots:
1. I just had cupcakes for breakfast, and I had cupcakes and Diet Sunkist for dinner after a run on Tuesday. That balances out, right?

2. Someone shared this video with me - and I really like it.

3. Last night I went to a wine tasting with dad, and then spent a large portion of the evening dancing around the house to Lady Gaga as I cleaned.

4. My washer isn't spitting stuff at me anymore. No more of this.

Friday is promising. One more week of work. Beach next Saturday and All Points West after that. Here's to July's exciting end.

contacts and the people who wear them

the first time I tried to put a contact in my eye I was 13 years old. I was in the bathroom at my house, and there was no contact in sight. pun...intended. it was the night before the appointment with my eye doctor and Mama Jordan thought it would be a good idea to practice the art of taking your finger and putting it up to your eye. "If you can't do that, how do expect to actually put something in your eye?" that might not be the exact quote. this was 12 years ago, so I'm probably paraphrasing a little, but that was the gist of it. I was not happy with this, and we were probably only in there for a few minutes but it seemed like hours. I could not even get close to touching my eye nor did I think this was even necessary to do before I even went to the appointment. so I'm sure young Melissa said something sarcastic and went off to bed. I think (and like to blame) that "preparation" for then causing me to fight with an actual contact for over 3 hours the next day at the doctor's office. I could not for the life of me get the contact in my eye on my own. if I remember correctly, the doc put them back in my eye and told us to go home and have me practice putting them in and taking them out. I don't think the rest of the day was that great. but slowly, day by day, I got better. and today, being almost 25 years old, I am a total pro. I can pop those suckers in like nobody's business. I can do it with my eyes closed....except I need them to be open to really do what I need to do.



all this to say, this is the first time I've ever posted in a blog that I'm "co-authoring." however, this was not as difficult, Mama Jordan is not inches from my face and I'm not yelling "how is this gonna help?" I'd like to play around with links, photos and such, so if something goes horribly wrong in this post I promise I'll get better.



so here's a pic that always, without fail, makes me laugh.

I'm hoping this week goes by quickly, as I'm very much so looking forward to my birthday! I think Friday is going to be very fun, and I'm really excited to go home and see the fam. if nothing falls through, the house will close on the 30th. it's really crazy. and bittersweet. and a tad hard to imagine. and there's a chance that it might be really hard to leave there on Sunday. I don't know how to picture that not being our house and never being able to go back to the only house I've ever known. OK, I'm gonna stop cause I'm gonna get teary and that's just awkward at work. please refer back to the scuba dog and laugh.

and BC always makes me feel better. here's a new song that I hope will be on the new album. love. it. and I hope it will make Amy see her in concert again in October and make Ashley fly back and see her....after being in Chicago for about a month....

high fives and awkward side hugs,
mj

Life Fail #37

That's right! Pile it up life! Can you even read this awesome letter on this thing? Hopefully I haven't wasted my investors money Madoff-style. So Artwalk is still a waiting game for me... even up until the day before the show.

And on to my favorite news story of the day:
"Man dies at chocolate factory"
I had to read more once I saw this. Too bad the Oompa Loompas didn't get there in time to pull him out.

Blake's got a new face! And we have a new blog. You're welcome.

I invented Post-Its?

Hm, I'm not really sure what to write about, and I'm also hoping that you guys are more interesting than I am. I'm currently counting down the days until my last day at SU. (I've also been doing a lot of online shopping...not purchasing, more like window shopping.) Sad thing? Not sure I'm going to be sad to leave this place at all. I mean, there are a few folks I'll miss working with, but I'm done-zo with this whole admissions counselor crap.

Yeah, let's see...this week I was bit by a mosquito that was in my office. (Oh, the dangers of a desk job.)

I was walking through the store on the phone with Ricky last night when I saw this hamburger wreck, and I said "Hold on, I just found a cake wreck. I have to take a picture." I was also outraged that it cost over 17 dollars. (biiiitch please.)

So I got off the phone and took pictures, and I've already submitted them to Cake Wrecks. Let's hope this makes the site...then we will have 2 successful submissions (Happy Patrick's Jamie) to Cake Wrecks. Sad thing? I rambled on and on about how excited I was to be able to submit to the site, and "oh we have the same birthday." I'm such a seal.

I currently have 4 blisters on my feet - two from doing a tour in uncomfortable shoes, and 2 from walking too much in flip flops. Delicate flower, party of one.

Facebook quizzes may send me over the edge if they don't get out of my news feed...or maybe I should start just unfriending anyone that takes one.

I'm excited about this blog.